On Judging Others.

So Father G. was discussing how we shouldn’t judge by appearances. It was a Saturday morning and two people rang the doorbell at the rectory. Father was cautious, tired, and a little bit irked by who could be bothering him so early in the morning. Looking through the peephole he saw two people that looked tired and forlorn-disheveled.

Father thought to himself, “Homeless. Wanting food or a handout.”

And then he thought better of his own introspection and cautiously opened the door a creak to talk to them. After judging that they met his standards he invited them in and asked them to sit down.

They did so. Formalities were exchanged and then the man spoke: “We apologize for the way we look. You see Saturday is our only day off. We work at the hospital and we are surgeons. We have one day to dress down and really enjoy it. We have a gift for the church.”

With that he handed over a regular sized check with a sizeable donation. Father’s mouth dropped and he thanked them profusely. Nowadays none of this would have happened it would be done through Pay Pal or some other app.

Father is a great sports fan and story teller. He almost always has something nice to say to everyone and takes his time listening and asking where they went to school or what parish they attended or what position they played. He engages the person he is talking to and acts as if they are the only ones in conversation although many times people are waiting to see him.

Amazing. I tried to learn from him. One day two individuals are talking to him and one stated that he played football. “High School,” Father thought, the man was small in stature and thin. Father then thought, “Maybe college…” And then had a good internal laugh.

Just then the man said, “NFL. Tight End. Five years,” he then mentioned some impressive credentials and the teams he played with. “Went from 329 to what I weigh now. Figured I couldn’t keep living eating living like that. And that’s what I wanted to do live for my wife and kids. So I quit.”

While living in NH I was walking out of a store with my sister and asked why people were looking at me so confusedly. She replied you’re overdressed for the area and sure enough looking around people were basically in jeans and I in a suit and tie.

Working at the grocery store as a low level motivator supervisor. One girl in particular who needed a one minute coaching. She didn’t want to work at this store. Her parents forced her to do it. My attempt was to get her involved with customers and realize that they too were just people.

I wondered how many people had some illness. I was trying to show my fellow workers or demonstrate that they should have compassion. Looking over some numbers of major diseases I was certainly proven right. Lot’s of people were sick or dealing with someone who was.

Later in Chicago I would read an article that stated 60 percent of people in Illinois had an alcohol abuse problem. It could be high still my point was validated we are all sick in some way.

It was a calm day as a supervisor and after playing who would I fire who would I keep who would I move relegating employees to chess pieces I noticed that she was being surly with a customer. Instead of giving my speech about how the door works both ways it has a way to get in and a way to leave I thought I would try a different approach.

Was watching the girl I had coached interacting with a customer and she just didn’t care.

The man that she was rude to was own your own plane rich and when he would come in ask, “Do you know how to buy the company,” and “Do you know how to eliminate your job ?” I would reply, “Yes. But of course I am irreplaceable.” And I really wasn’t.

Of course having nothing to do I reckoned I should get paid for doing something. I asked her if she knew who this guy was or if he was rich or poor. And then we talked about how we treat out customers as if we were in a job interview. And we should interview them as well. You never knew what they could do for you. I also told her that even though we didn’t like our jobs and even if we didn’t like our bosses or the pay we should at least be good to others for our own satisfaction.

One day I had her create three columns. The first one was to be labeled “Good” and the next “Great” and the last “Fantastic.” She was going to rate her customers throughout the day. And I had rigged it so that she couldn’t have any terrible customers. Then I proceeded to tell here that very few customers were really mean and nearly impossible to deal with.

Later I asked her how the survey went. She stated that she had given up after about an hour because, most customers were, “Good.” At least she admitted it.

Working at a car lot two individuals come in looking like Ma and Pa Kettle. Just moments before I was talking to a friend about our boss’s lecture not to judge a book by it’s cover. I let him take the couple. He gets to the point of the check and they had perfect credit not a ding and lot’s of cash. My co-worker thanked me. “If you didn’t remind me of your story not to judges book by it’s cover…”

I realized this when one time working as a cashier and just providing good customer service I asked a woman where she worked and she was a big shot. Very amicable loquacious. Or drunk or both. Maybe she was just having a good day. Now it would be high. After she left I realized I was being interviewed and didn’t know her name. Missed opportunity. The path not taken. My cousin was over six feet tall. I only met him at funerals. It was my mother’s funeral. Wonderful guy sharp well mannered senatorial. Of course I asked him the logical question, “Do you play basketball ?” He did not. I wonder how many times someone asked him that question. Oprah I was not.

Thanks Father. My fingers are tired from typing on a phone. You inspired me today. So that’s my story and I’m sticking with it on my journey from Saul to Paul.

Originally published at https://www.slackivist.com.