On Waiting.

Paul L. Bucklaw
6 min readMay 19, 2022

Grief therapist Francis Weller writes in his book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow, to wake each day and say, “I am one day closer to my death. So how will I live this day? I do not want to waste this day.”

Guess all we have is the moment. How many times have I caught myself not being satisfied in the moment? Curious if that has ever happened to you?

Reminds me of a friend, who seemed to have to always be doing something or busy. In that respect we are opposites.

So two in my life I was playing lots of chess to develop discipline. My big spend it could been $49.95 or a hundred dollars was the talking chess machine from believe it or not Radio Shack-once the owner of the world’s largest collection of vacuum tubes. At some point passed level eight the computer really slowed down and would take maybe 30 minutes to make a decision. So one day I am playing a game and think “If I lose my queen for a pawn-I think I win,” and it took me some time to actually make a move and then when I did I won.

Another time, many years later I was trying out new opening moves and I got to a nice mid-game and really wasn’t really great at forecasting wins in advance and thought, “it will be a heck of a battle and I will win.”

And then I froze. And I realized I did. In this game you couldn’t take moves back like with my old computer. Finally, I moved-it was only just a game and a battle was had and I won. Keep on moving in the right “imperfectly perfect” direction.

Anyone remember Circuit City? One day just browsing or killing time that I didn’t have to kill (poor time) I see this really at least back then a really attractive woman and I circled the store and then did it again thinking of a witty way to approach her and then I did it again I started to see myself like a plane with no spot to land. “I have to get out of here,” and then one more approach and the swoop I was face-to-face with her and told her the above story and she laughed and asked me out for a cup of coffee and I said, “No.”

Not a coffee drinker.

Moral: Make that call. Write that story. Send that email. Keep on honing your skills-no matter what they say and stop waiting for the perfect storm of events to take place.

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Paul L. Bucklaw

Who am I ? That is the eternal question. slackivist.com. Writer ? Hero ? Motivator ? Environmentalist ? If you know let me know. Visit demicnews.com