TEN THINGS THAT RUDY GIULIANI IS THINKING ABOUT DOING TO RAISE MONEY.

12. Stays up late wondering why Cuomo didn’t grope him.

11. “Affiliate Marketing is where it’s at…”

10. “Red Hots. Red Hots. Peanuts.” Hot dog vendor at Yankee Stadium.

9. “Hey Buddy where do you want to go? This is only my part time job…”

8. “I will defend you and win your facebook, twitter jail case. Just $19.95.”

7. “Hey buddy do you need a shoeshine?”

6. “Mike. This is Rudy Giuliani I was wondering do you need any pillow salespeople?”

5. Thinking of selling extended warranties on hair plugs endorsed by Trump.

4. Vegan dog food sales. www.slackivist.com/wild.html

3. “Have you ever tried hair in a can? It did wonders for my image.”

2 Jealous of Steve Bannon. Wants his own crooked build a wall fund.

1. “Once I sold my soul to the devil Scientology changed my life.”